We are stuck in a bear market until you guys start having babies.

It’s investing 101. When everyone is having babies, the market is in a bull run and the opposite is true. Look at the markets, they’re all not doing too hot and neither is the political and socioeconomic enviroment of the world or something smart. Then look at your social media, people have switched to a different type of pump and dumps.

But if you look at the times after big wars, there’s always lots of babies and some good bull markets for their time. So go get your hair did, wear some smelly goods, and put on your best crocs. Go out and manipulate the market. Don’t call her baby, call her SEC and spank her to show her who’s in charge (or him, whatever your type is). Hodl some boobies.

I’m rooting for you. We’ll be Gucci soon enough.

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39 thoughts on “We are stuck in a bear market until you guys start having babies.”

  1. Bro my wife is 6 weeks pregnant does that mean start of the bull market?? But really, I can’t tell anyone yet so I just needed to tell someone.

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  2. Fuck that. My kids are 15 and 17

    There is no way in hell I am going back now.

    Diapers? Sleepless nights? Fuck. That. Noise.

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  3. I have a lot of kids.
    For Americans to have more would require the entire financial system to change.
    A family of five… Husband, wife and three kids, will probably end up at or just below the poverty line. Forget buying a house. That’s not realistic. The reason you keep hearing, “Have more kids.”, is because the US needs more bodies for work without switching to AI based robots and for war. Unless you have a better reason why they would tell “poor” people to reproduce. Lol.
    “Humans will go extinct if we don’t reproduce more.”
    “Damn. Pay us a living wage.”
    “No.”
    #RIPHumanity 🤷🏻☠️

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  4. YEP… Every baby born is a debt to the medical industry. Every child’s parent that can’t afford those debts is a jobs program for Protective Services and other local enforcement organizations. It’s not incorrect to say that creating more children raises the velocity of debt and therefore is “good for the economy” because the scarcity of financial fortitude is the only way humans can be motivated to pay attention to profit margins in every day life. Foster Homes are government subsidized, so while you are DCA-ing into debt and avoidance while buying crypto, free money is given to the hired help raising the children you failed to protect. It was good for the economy, that’s why mom and dad did what they did. Yep…. we’re still in an age based culture war. *thanks for the comedy tag… this comment is for rectal use only.*

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  5. So I am stuck in an impossible situation? I need high crypto prices to attract a woman, but I need a woman to have high crypto prices? Is that what you’re saying? 😭

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  6. Crypto will explode when the Naked Shorting scandal comes to full light, and it’s getting very close due to Gamestop and others. Once people realize that 50% of our markets could be counterfeited and the deceitful games the hedge funds have played which have ended up not only stealing shareholders’ money but has hurt USA innovation by bankrupting companies through negative PR campaigns and shorting stock illegally that they don’t even own….

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  7. I had my kid in 2020 so obviously I’m responsible for the 2021 bull market run. You guys need to pull your weight

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